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I know that it’s bad, that it’s the kind that they can’t operate on…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 18, 2014 by ApathyKiss

Some of the best art has risen from the ashes of a broken heart. Rock and country songs about lovers and loses that thump in your head for days on end, paintings and sketches of the desirable and unattainable fill the walls of galleries all across the world and poetry about stolen kisses and unfulfilled wishes that bring tears to your eyes even before the last stanza. These things exist as reminders that as humans our emotion control us. Our emotions are powerful creatures that live inside us and we act and create and live with this monster inside pulling our strings. 

It’s a bit scary when you think about it, but it’s true.

When the broken and bruised are healed, and the band plays on though, that’s where you see that the turmoil and desperation that leaks from your fingers has been the driving force behind the success of these millions of creations and from there, you need to figure out how t get it back without risking the heartache?

These thoughts come to life when you listen to some bands like Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails. Some of the most amazing bands that at the height of their careers were writing some pretty epic and crazy shit. The lyrics that came out of these destroyed men were…beyond inspiring. It was also no secret that these men were hoped up on heroin and rocking at least two other major life changes per member. The heroin wasn’t the source of their talent, though. It was the angst, the guilt, the hate of being addicted to something and being so desperate for another taste of the girl with golden eyes. 

As soon as Trent and Dave got clean, their music did too. They didn’t have the same harsh notes and desperate lyrics. It was like someone came into the room, swept all the trash and threw away all the dishes and told them to try again. Don’t get me wrong, Exciter was a great album, and I listen to all the Halos religiously in fear of facing the wrath of my NIN addicted mother, but the message in them is not the same.

When you are suffering, truly suffering, that feeling inside is something that you want to get rid of. If you have any ounce of creativity, you use that as an outlet to get it out. You write the hell out of those feelings or pound the shit out of your guitar strings or drums, and you create something to represent those emotions. That song that you wrote after your boyfriend cheated on you is as important to your healing heart as it is to throw out his t-shirt that you sleep in. And when you feel sad about him, you go back to that song and play it over and over again until your throat closes up and your fingers bleed. There…now don’t you feel better?

When you are no longer suffering, you have other emotions inside that are mostly positive. You can create art to represent that same positive feeling but you never really put your heart into it, do you? That happiness you feel, the burst of joy radiating from your smile, these are things that you don’t want to let go of. You hold them close to you like a security blanket in case the monster of suffering crawls from under your bed and your blanket of happy can save you. You write a song, a happy song, and you enjoy the song. It represents this pleasant feeling inside that warms you up like a cup of tea. But if you let it all out, you fear not being able to feel it anymore. 

These are the lackluster albums of healed rock stars. These are the desperate attempts to create something that gives you the same feeling as desperation but not truly being desperate. If you haven’t ever bawled your eyes out and felt like your heart was melting through your pores, then you have never truly created your most powerful piece. I highly recommend it. 

 

“Through the ashes of destruction comes the most beautiful creations.” -Nick “The Heartbreaker” Callahan ‘Perfect, Just Like Me

Novel- Publications- Intrigue

Posted in Uncategorized on April 20, 2014 by ApathyKiss

Hello, Snowlfakes..

 

Quick update for you-

 

-My first full length novel is in the works. Being prepped and almost ready to begin as we speak. Few more things to lay out before we can start but it will amazing. Not as erotic as I usually go, but if you are a fan of my writing, it will be appreciated. Promise….

-4 short stories are being edited and put together for release on smashwords which gives me the ability to publish on bn.com and amazon.com and spread my work like the legs of a crack whore. It’s going to be, well, smashing. Doug Horn helped design the cover art using his photography and I must say, it’s gorgeous. I will keep you posted on the release dates of those.

-Other than that, causing and trouble and breaking hearts as usual… so watch out.

 

-love ak

Photo Shoot

Posted in Uncategorized on May 15, 2012 by ApathyKiss

Sunday was an amazing photo shoot for the website. So proud of my ladies and the photographer is a a mad genius. Little samples of the shoot have been coming at me from the photographer and they are mind blowing. This site will have a new face, my snowflakes.

May 2012 Erotic Salon Email

Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2012 by ApathyKiss

Hello Friends of the Philadelphia Cultural Salons,
 
Thanks to all who made April’s Salon another wonderful evening of steamy readings. The discussion at the end was most inofrmative, and enjoyed by those that stayed to listen.
 
May 17th next Salon – Dr. Frances will be back from her snowbird hideout. I know she will be excited to see all and share one of her stories.
 
May’s Press Release can be viewed at  http://www.theEroticliterarysalon.com. Check navigation bar – Press Release. I also blog daily (almost). Postings usually deal with newsworthy & not so newsworthy s+exual issues that include my s+x positive spin, steamy stories, and interesting events.
 
IMPORTANT: Format change for signing up to read. To reserve a space to read at the Salon, please add your name to the sign-up sheet posted at upstairs entrance. 15-20 names will be accepted, depending upon the program for the evening and length of pieces. Names will be collected starting at 7:30.

I am tweeting, do follow @TheEroticSalon.
 
Partnering and cross promoting the following events and workshops:
 

First Person Arts: http://www.firstpersonarts.org/

Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School: http://www.drsketchy.com/branch/Philly                                
Peek-a-Boo Burlesque Revue: http://www.peekaboorevue.com/

Cabaret Red Light: http://www.cabaretredlight.com/                                                                      
Plum Dragoness: http://new.plumdragoness.com/
Monica Day: http://www.thesensuallife.com/    

Please post information and reviews regarding the Erotic Literary Salon to various blog sites you visit. If you write for any blogs, please contact me and perhaps we can create an interesting article or interview you can post.


 
***Parking lot (123-27 South 12th St. / 1140 Sansom St.) around the corner from TIME. Offering a $5 rate for the evening (enter after 5pm). Need special coupon. Follow directions at the site and print out coupon. Must pay with credit card. 
http://philadelphia.centralparking.com/Philadelphia-123-South-12th-Street-Parking.html                 

Save the Date: May 17th, third Tuesday. Come early for a good seat.


Susana


Susana Mayer
Ph.D.
Founder & Host The Erotic Literary Salon                                        
http://www.theEroticliterarysalon.com


 
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My Love is Music.

Posted in Uncategorized on June 20, 2011 by ApathyKiss

Something about a really great musician that gets my blood pumping faster than a speeding locomotive. Especially when he is a player that puts more passion into a guitar solo than most bands do in an entire album. It’s difficult to fully perform something that you care about with your eyes open. If your eyes are open while you wail on that rosewood fretboard, you aren’t playing as hard as you can. Watch a Jimmy Hendrix video and tell me if his eyes are open.

When I saw him on stage, the lights were completely out. A hush fell over the crowd and a few notes were plucked with nimble fingers on dirty steel strings that were played to the right place for maximum sound. Goosebumps completely ran over my body. They all rushed to the top of my skin, trying to get closer to the sound like they wanted to rush the stage and get in front of everyone. The first note from his mouth was a slow, high cry. Soothing at first but then his vocal chords opened and they let more sound flow through.

Then a single light shined on the majestic maestro. Lone soul baring his before the world.

What he does to me when he plays is better than what the most skilled lover can do to my body when we twist between the sheets. The song picks up and more notes fill my ears, traveling over my senses and igniting each one with a new sensation. Notes play on my body like fingertips, traveling inside and out, feeling for the perfect place to call home. My hands by my sides can’t sit still and want to reach out to grab each note he is singing. I let my fingertips travel over my hips, my ribs, the sides of my breasts until they tangle in my hair and move with my head, tossing side to side and keeping beat. That beat. It fills my bloodstream and skips my heart, making it pump with a tempo his inspirational flow.

Throw your hands to the sky.

My hips move back and forth, pulsing with the beat and twisting with the tone. He makes my body vibrate and move in a way that I can’t stop. I long for the dark corners of the venue to pull my clothes aside and be pure and naked, feel each note over my body like I can feel it twisting my soul.

The next melody starts and it’s faster, deeper and stronger than the last. My body takes it inside and moves with the flow. Tingles are racing through the air from his fingertips and touching my skin, under the cloth covering everything I want to expose. I will his fingers to leave the instrument and touch me, traveling callused and worn skin over the softness of my stomach. Calluses built from years of musical interpretation of emotions and art. This man has created more than music. He has created life with his art. I wanted to experience that.

The bass beat of the single drum cadence was thumping into my chest, hitting me hard from the speakers and I felt the tingling in my pussy with each sonic hit. The music was stroking my wet flesh with each tap of his foot on the pedal. I moved my hit as if a finger was pressing onto my clit with each beat. The melody picked up and the strokes came faster and faster. My body responded in kind and my hands once more tangled in my hair. The amazing feeling of sound waves flowing through me was making my legs shake and my breathe come faster.

And now… his solo.

The strings on his guitar was puppet strings and he controlled them like a master, dancing the melody to reach my skin. The notes were an enigma of a pattern but each one hit me so hard and fast, making me drench my panties and bite my lip. I wanted to feel those fingers moving so fast and sure. I imagined those fingers touching me and dipping between my legs and finding the proof of my desire for his talent.

Over the solo, the drum beat continued. Pound. Pound. Pound of the pedal on the head. I couldn’t take it anymore, my body burst with passionate flames, fire exploding inside me with the climax of the song triggering my own until I was shaking and crying out for more.

More! Play on!!

I need an encore more than my next breath.

Play for me??

Some men don’t get that women like to be hunted.

Posted in Uncategorized on June 14, 2011 by ApathyKiss

Getting readers’ emails are one of the best things about publishing my work. When I put up a new story and come back, there will be tons of people responding to the story telling me whether they liked it or not and how they *ahem* took care of whatever condition my story caused in their body.

 

But every once in a while, I will get an email from a fan that makes me… a little confused. I really don’t know how to respond to these emails, but I try as hard as I can. These emails usually start with something crass and obnoxious like, “Your story got me so hard, I’m holding my cock thinking it’s you..” blah blah kind of typical unimaginative purple prose that I try to avoid using anyway. Then it will go into a bit of detail about what he wants to use that exaggerated hard and cut cock to do to me. Just because I wrote a story about fucking a guy in the back seat of my car.

 

I’m not saying I don’t enjoy dirty talk, and I love sex as much as any other erotic author does, but when you write me over 1000 words on what you would like to do to me, it doesn’t quite get my skirt up over my thighs. No matter what kind of instructions you give me to dip my fingers in my wetness that you seem to think you created. I don’t mind my boy telling me what to do, but you, kind sir… have not been granted that permission. I am very submissive. But I am a submissive that has dominate tendencies and when you haven’t earned a safe word, my hair stands on end.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE hearing my fans tell me how hard I got them or even how wet, I do have some female fans as well… If I didn’t enjoy the feedback, I wouldn’t write stories for my fans. I like the ideas and the thoughts and what they loved and hated about what I wrote. Keep them coming!

I just really don’t know what you want me to do with 75 questions, some of which my own primary care physician doesn’t even know, and then a detailed description of how to touch myself while reading your requests. It’s also difficult to read when you use little punctuation and don’t capitalize. ANYTHING.

In the meantime… keep an eye open for new work and mark your calendars if you are in the Philly area. The next Erotic Literary Salon is coming up next week, June 21st and it’s from 8-10 at the Bohemian Absinthe Lounge on Samson st. I will be reading an excerpt from my sample story at myownlovestory.com about a girl finding her inner submissive.

 

-love AK

My Own Love Story

Posted in Uncategorized on May 25, 2011 by ApathyKiss

As of today, I am officially a freelance writer for myownlovestory.com. This site is a custom erotica site where you can order your wildest fantasy that you have always wanted to experience or maybe an anniversary gift for a loved one that you can’t find the right gift for. Prices and styles range so go check out the site for all the wonderful things we have to offer!