Archive for June 18, 2014

I know that it’s bad, that it’s the kind that they can’t operate on…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 18, 2014 by ApathyKiss

Some of the best art has risen from the ashes of a broken heart. Rock and country songs about lovers and loses that thump in your head for days on end, paintings and sketches of the desirable and unattainable fill the walls of galleries all across the world and poetry about stolen kisses and unfulfilled wishes that bring tears to your eyes even before the last stanza. These things exist as reminders that as humans our emotion control us. Our emotions are powerful creatures that live inside us and we act and create and live with this monster inside pulling our strings. 

It’s a bit scary when you think about it, but it’s true.

When the broken and bruised are healed, and the band plays on though, that’s where you see that the turmoil and desperation that leaks from your fingers has been the driving force behind the success of these millions of creations and from there, you need to figure out how t get it back without risking the heartache?

These thoughts come to life when you listen to some bands like Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails. Some of the most amazing bands that at the height of their careers were writing some pretty epic and crazy shit. The lyrics that came out of these destroyed men were…beyond inspiring. It was also no secret that these men were hoped up on heroin and rocking at least two other major life changes per member. The heroin wasn’t the source of their talent, though. It was the angst, the guilt, the hate of being addicted to something and being so desperate for another taste of the girl with golden eyes. 

As soon as Trent and Dave got clean, their music did too. They didn’t have the same harsh notes and desperate lyrics. It was like someone came into the room, swept all the trash and threw away all the dishes and told them to try again. Don’t get me wrong, Exciter was a great album, and I listen to all the Halos religiously in fear of facing the wrath of my NIN addicted mother, but the message in them is not the same.

When you are suffering, truly suffering, that feeling inside is something that you want to get rid of. If you have any ounce of creativity, you use that as an outlet to get it out. You write the hell out of those feelings or pound the shit out of your guitar strings or drums, and you create something to represent those emotions. That song that you wrote after your boyfriend cheated on you is as important to your healing heart as it is to throw out his t-shirt that you sleep in. And when you feel sad about him, you go back to that song and play it over and over again until your throat closes up and your fingers bleed. There…now don’t you feel better?

When you are no longer suffering, you have other emotions inside that are mostly positive. You can create art to represent that same positive feeling but you never really put your heart into it, do you? That happiness you feel, the burst of joy radiating from your smile, these are things that you don’t want to let go of. You hold them close to you like a security blanket in case the monster of suffering crawls from under your bed and your blanket of happy can save you. You write a song, a happy song, and you enjoy the song. It represents this pleasant feeling inside that warms you up like a cup of tea. But if you let it all out, you fear not being able to feel it anymore. 

These are the lackluster albums of healed rock stars. These are the desperate attempts to create something that gives you the same feeling as desperation but not truly being desperate. If you haven’t ever bawled your eyes out and felt like your heart was melting through your pores, then you have never truly created your most powerful piece. I highly recommend it. 


“Through the ashes of destruction comes the most beautiful creations.” -Nick “The Heartbreaker” Callahan ‘Perfect, Just Like Me